Yesterday was a confusing and hard day. After a great morning in the pre-spring sunshine doing jobs, all of a sudden I crashed out and became confused with myself. I doubted myself, my abilities, got incredibly lethargic and a massive migraine. I was trapped in my own head. All the music I listened to made me feel insignificant. That my voice wasn’t good enough. I started comparing myself to others and couldn’t stop, even though I knew it was pointless. My fear of performing live began to surface, my breath quickened, the dread came. I love to sing and let my voice soar but as soon as there’s an audience watching me or even some recording equipment nearby I stress out. I also know that the more I do it, the more I’ll get used to it.
I spent some time on Netflix. It didn’t help. I went to bed and slept. It was the only solution.
Wow. What a ride. Today I feel great and raring to go. Ready to sing again. It’s amazing what a moodshift can bring. I became vulnerable. It’s was powerful. Not easy. Very emotional. But now I’m back and ready to face my fears.