Get on and Shine with Holly Honeychurch

Get on and Shine with Holly Honeychurch

Conquering Pain

I’ve been exploring different parts of my body during dance time. Today my twisted foot inadvertantly got the treatment. I used some steep stairs as a prop. The aim was to walk down the steps as slowly as I could, rather than plonking down them. I found that as I lowered my leg down towards the next step, my other leg gave way, before the other foot was fully down, unable to hold its weight the more I bent my knee. The leg muscles need strengthening but I wasn’t sure which ones to focus on because I can’t feel my legs a great deal. I asked Simon to help me and he described what muscles he uses to walk down the stairs with. This gave me more focus. I’m gradually waking my atrophised muscles up. It’s really happening.

In the past, my right foot has hardly ever had much weight put on it. I’m good at not keeping it down for long. It’s a protection. It’s had trauma. However, this exercise made me rest my full weight on it for an extended period of time and it’s not used to that. It’s not used to tendons working and flattening. It’s not used to being weight beared. I get a bit scared doing it - it can be excruciating. Because it’s never been used quite properly. It’s never engaged. But I perservered.

It’s protesting now. It’s hurts. It’s throbbing and vibrating. I suppose because something new is waking up, being explored. Change is afoot (haha). It’s annoying though because the pain stops me in my tracks, when all I want to do is move faster and do more.

The hardest part is this - I know that going through the pain and keeping on using my foot, keeping on digging deep is the way to conquer it. The way to have more movement. Sure have a rest, but don’t get lazy and make excuses. I’ve had this lesson time and time again and damn it’s a hard lesson to hear.

Breaking through a pain barrier is a sure fire way of giving me more freedom of movement. I long to be rid of it. I grin and bear it. I limp and grimace and cry but still, I keep on going. I am in control of my body, not the other way round. And when I own it, when I drive it home that I am stronger than its core, then just like that (clicks fingers) it’s gone.