This is an important street to me. When I was eighteen, it was a street of freedom. A street where I felt strong. A street where I could sense change coming and what I was capable of. Back then, at such a tender age, I was in an abusive relationship. It wasn’t good. It lasted over two years. I can’t believe I stayed. No-one who’s got out ever can. But one evening I found the courage to leave. To escape. I drove to my mum’s. To safety. To love.

I was messed up.

The next day she took me shopping up this very street. In Sherborne, Dorset. I was so happy. And relieved. I felt protected and loved. But I also felt guilty. That he’d be worried where I was. That I was being horrible to him by ignoring him.

I shed a tear for my younger self. So much to deal with at such a young age. Only just beginning to mature and understand even slightly who the hell I was.

Mum bought me clothes. We had fun. I relaxed. I felt free. It was a wonderful day.

I can’t say it was plain sailing afterwards but for that one day, out with my mum, it was the best day ever. I had a taster of how beautiful life could be. It wasn’t much really. Just a walk up the street, buying a pair of trousers, enjoying being looked after by my mum. But compared to my usual life it was bliss.

Eventually I chose to love myself. And left.

Finally.

After a few failed attempts at trying to psychologically remove myself from such a sticky situation. This was my final text when he asked me to come back (which I still know from memory twenty years later).

‘No thanks. I’m happier now than what I’ve ever been and I thank from the bottom of my heart whatever gave me the strength to leave you. Have a nice life’

Bless my innocent words. Bless my innocent heart. Oh how I soared after that.

Diva Catto is not a fan of selfies. She requires the whole frame and all the attention. It’s her way or the highway. Ok Madame Maisie. Let’s try again…

Oh yes. What an elegant shot. Much better.

Apologies for the riff raff cramping your style. Absolutely disgraceful behaviour.

Bean Shot Coffee, Sherborne. Coffee and cake. Cheat day. Insustrial, stripped down surround. Their passion for coffee is everywhere. I had a cappuccino made with La Bella coffee beans. Chocolatey. Smooth. Perfect. Carrot cake was cute too. Moist and fulfilling. Cool place. Happy.

Gotta love a cheeky gull.

Sometimes I look like such an English tourist (I prefer sensitive English rose 😉). Anyone seen that Michael McIntyre sketch about British people on holiday? Very funny.

I’ve been waiting all year for this moment. Had a fab swim too. It was only cold for a minute then I mermaided out for ages. Golly I love the sea. This is Lulworth Cove in Dorset.

Have you ever been somewhere (in my case a taxi) where someone’s aftershave is so strong, it permeates your entire being and even after you change your clothes, you can still smell it? Well that’s me right now. Seriously considering a shower. Stinky aftershave. Hmpf. Not a fan.🤢

And…little quackos. Yay!

A lovely lush river.

Also there was a man who didn’t like the serious history and tried to smash it all up. Ooooo the drama.

The Magna Carta room at Salisbury cathedral. Oh the expanse and grandeur. Time for serious faces because there’s some serious history in here.

Culture Coffee, Salisbury. Victoria sponge. Oh yes. Strong coffee. 🤪 Sweet, soft vibe. Music is ramping up though. There’s a good beat or two. Jolly people. Nice ambiance.

Goodbye van. Hello public transport. Now to get back home via a stop at the cathedral. 😃

You know when things happen in life to test your resolve? Well today has been one of those days.

Today has been weird. And wonderful. And challenging. Plans changed continuously. Realities shifted. It was a bit of a merry go round. I tried to put it all into perspective - I live incredibly well and I’m in good health. But I still felt frustrated. And annoyed. I noticed my neck felt strained. I could feel my emotions and stress were getting trapped up there. This has led to weeks of pain in the past. But I caught it and acted. I stretched and danced to shake it out. I cried a bit. And laughed. And felt grateful.

Not having a house means we rely upon our car a lot more. It’s our little house. All our belongings fit neatly into it. So when it’s up the other end of the country, has been out of action for a month and still hasn’t been fixed, my resolve is tested.

This morning, my idyllic month in Dorset, visiting the sea multiple times a week was in tatters (dramatic I know but I’ve been looking forward to this month for aaages). We’re in the middle of nowhere. Everything is super hard to get to without a car. This was going to be my mermaid moment. And this morning that all changed. I had a minor inner child tantrum.

But I accepted it. And for whatever reason, we knew we were being tested. For whatever reason we were being made to stay put. It’s a fabulous place here. Beautiful catto. Beautiful people we’re housesitting for. Lush setting. We could happily stay here, get on, get creative. A whole month though is a fair while to be in one village. But still, we’re lucky to be here so I came to my senses and surrendered to the flow of the situation.

Then three beautiful things happened to brighten my day. The delivery I received (full of cat treatos and superior cat litter from Canada) arrived courtesy of a lovely delivery driver called Phil. His cheery attitude was so kind. It lifted my spirits immediately.

After that, the car hire company we’ve been using waived a £100 fee. So grateful they empathised with our situation (that we’d spent way too much money on hiring cars). It’s a beautiful thing. Talking to humans. Sharing stories. Making each other feel better. Being helpful and kind and sensitive. We sent them a yummy chocolate box in the post for being so sweet.

Finally, our house-sit friends, currently travelling around Canada said that we could use their car. Just like that. And I felt so high. So appreciative. And somehow free again. Free from the constraints of a challenging situation. Everything was positive and light.

I have taken lessons from today. Here they are. If things are confusing, stop. If there are too many options and you don’t know which one to pick. Stop. For a moment. For an hour. For a morning.

Take the path of least resistance. Find the one which makes the most sense inside. Find the one that gives you the most peace.

Be grateful for what you’ve got. Count your blessings. Remember feelings and emotions pass. Nothing stays the same for long.

Do a constructive rest to calm your body down. Work with gravity. Sink into yourself. Relax your neck. It’s a place where you hold a lot of tension.

Dance, move, shake out any negativity. A good shake (to awesome rhythmic drums) goes a long way to helping shift emotions.

Talk to people. Talk about your emotions. Not too much. Don’t rabbit on unconsciously and endlessly about every moan you have. But don’t be proud and say everything’s ok either. People like to help. It’s what human beings are meant to do. Help each other. And they do.

We’re off to the beach soon. With big smiles on our faces. My heart. It soars.

If you want to get things done Subculture is a mixed album that does the job nicely. High vibrational trance. It’s got integrity and heart. It gets me going and keeps me there. Then it drives me on. 🎶😍🎶

Can I really be that excited about clumping cat litter? Yes I can. Truly. 🙃

I just went on a music adventure with KODO. This song I really love. It’s ancient yet jazzy. I felt I was in Robin Hood country too. What a mix. The grounding beats lifted my spirit. I felt full of fire. 🎶

Harp practise with Maisie-Moo.

Day 30 - Last official day of the relaxed 30 day belly dance challenge. 😁 I learnt many moves during these practices. I explored and strengthened. I made friends with new muscle groups. I got sexier. I’ll definitely carry on with the online lessons. A little at a time. Then I can integrate them into my daily movements.

I realise that to keep my body in tip top condition ie without a hint of lethargy in my day, I’ve got to work out each and every day. Otherwise I lose stamina quickly and find it hard to start again. My body needs to keep ticking over. To be oiled. My muscles need to stretch. My heart needs to pound. So do my legs. Otherwise I get floppy. That’s how I’ll keep going. Keep feeling alive. If I keep on moving.

I noticed I’ve been wanting to sit down a lot these last few days. Like I got addicted to sitting down. And I don’t think it’s conducive to having a strong and healthy future. So I’m being more aware of it. Trying to slay that lethargy. Luckily I have Simon too. He knows when I’m not giving it my all. It’s important for your companion to help you be the best possible version of yourself. And call you out if you’re letting yourself go.

It’s something I see and reflect on in relationships. It’s dangerous territory when there’s one person in a relationship looking after themselves and another who’s letting themselves go. We are most attractive when we love ourselves. So how can the other love you when you don’t even love yourself?

Health is attractive. Mushiness isn’t.

Resting on your laurels isn’t something to be taken lightly. Strength and determination and being the best version of yourself will always make the most hearts flutter.

I did a constructive rest after dancing. It felt lush. To relax everything and just sink into the ground. I can’t emphasise enough how incredible this exercise is for letting your body go to reform and regroup.

I want to discover new music. I want to mix it up. I’m looking for some pure, unadulterated drumming compilations. I need those endless beats. I want to ground and grind. It makes my body excited. I honour that beat. Deep inside. So I’ll carry on exploring , releasing, strengthening, dancing. Any suggestions of imaginative, hard, uplifting beats (I don’t ask for much right?) let me know.

I found out that while belly dance is amazing for my body, letting go and dancing to my own rhythm is just as important. The less I think about technique, the more I feel the music. In my heart. When I feel it, I flow to my own rhythm. And that feels wonderful.

Shaftesbury Fringe Festival. Kicking back. Taking it all in.

Two relaxed moose taking in the view. We were thinking, if we hadn’t made the decision to go on this house-sitting adventure we’d still be in our old house with the same old view, acting in the same old way. Now we feel light and free. Everyday we make new magic.

Day 29 - Oh boy was it hard to get going today. Lethargy, boredom (over musical choices), lack of inspiration. I needed a kick up the ass. And I got it. I went back to my trance roots. To blow away the cobwebs. To shake it all up. It worked. I blew my own mind. I shook and I stomped out that lethargy. I felt my blood dance. I dove and swam with the beats. I wouldn’t let myself give up. My lizard brain tried hard. It wanted me to sit down. Forget it. Do it tomorrow, it said. So I looked for tracks to take me even higher. I remembered this passionate tune. So beautiful. And I danced my lazy side away. Wild Wild Son

A childhood memory revisited today in real time. Shaftesbury. Gold Hill. Ridley Scott directed this iconic British advert many moons ago (1973). The Hovis Advert

Super duper back garden view. Yum.

You know you’ve got a crazy cat crush when you can’t wait til Christmas because that’s when you’re next hanging out with him 😻🙃😻

Day 28 - After walking 8km+/day in York, I’m finally back to dancing in countryside kitchens. My legs feel strong. My body’s happy to be getting rhythmical again. I feel fit and healthy and just need to carry on keeping my heart rate up over extended periods of time.

During my dance session, I noticed that when I tightened my abdominals, my lower back popped in a releasing kind of way and felt nourished. Stronger. Relieved somehow. This makes sense. If something gets stronger in one area, another part would feel more supported and the positive knock on effect of that strength. In this case my back felt more powerful but I know the more I dance, the more other areas will feel more supported too and ultimately I’ll feel freer. That’s all I could ever wish for. So I’m gonna dance my way through July to a fitter, happier body. Let’s see where I can take this : )

Today’s song that got me jigging - Magnetic Eyes - Marix and Futurebound.