The first time I saw purple berries on a bush I was ecstatically happy for days afterwards. I saw them again in Glastonbury. Oh purple berries of loveliness, how happy you make me.

Tonight my mind exploded. Tonight, divine, ecstatic music nourished my soul. I sang my heart out. I sang to the Goddesses Radhe, Lakshmi, Durga and Kali. I asked for their help. I asked that they banish my fears, my anxieties, my pain and doubts. So I could fly free. Because that’s what it’s about for me. Flying above the storm clouds of my mind. Above my repression. Into golden sunlight.

I asked where my fears began. When I first started to doubt my truth. To doubt my voice. To feel nervous about speaking up and fearful of other people’s reactions. And the Goddesses showed me. As I sang, I retreated into my past. All of a sudden I was four years old again. Telling my mother that my grandfather had touched me. And I saw the cover up ensue. The hush hush of the situation. I never had a voice. I continued to see him. Throughout my whole childhood. They knew I was telling the truth, they believed me but they didn’t protect me. They failed me. Over and over. Mum, Dad - why did you let me see him again? Why was my voice not truly heard? The silence of it all was disgusting. The ignorance. The elephant in the room. I never got the chance to scream ‘how dare you’ at him. My voice, my sweet voice was suppressed. My truth vanquished. I grew up so confused. And I wept in that room tonight as the music swirled around me. I let go. My repressions bubbled out of me into a safe, warm space.

And that was the beginning of it all. Where I slowly suffocated myself from my truth. My feelings felt weak compared to others. I was frightened of the consequences of what I said. I felt pathetic. So unconfidence flourished. I put myself down psychologically and repressed my ideas. Other people felt more powerful.

Tonight as I sang I made a declaration to my younger self that I was here to protect her. I couldn’t back then, but from now on I’d do everything I could to protect her and myself from harm. I will do what I want, when want. I will say what I want, when I want. I will speak up even if people end up not liking me. I will not allow other people to abuse me. I am not here to be liked. I am here to speak my truth. I will not be walked over again.

Tonight I sang to the divine feminine. In the Hindu tradition, this time of year is a celebration to the many deities of the feminine. It’s called Navratri. I slayed my demons and began anew with the help of some powerful Goddesses. I healed my essence. I am stronger now. Yeah!

I have a voice. I am worthy. I am not afraid.

Celebratory ‘Moved out of Housesit’ cake fest. A few days of freedom is upon us with ecstatic singing tonight. Life is good.

Final scritch scrotch with sweet Pickles. Thank you for giving us a lovely safe space darling one. You are a very special catto and we love you lots. 😻

Ramshackled loveliness.

The friendliest sheep.

First time up The Tor for me. First time because, well, I’m not a hill kinda girl. So after much panting and whining from me and love and encouragement from wonderful Simon, I made it. The autumnal air felt alive. It made me feel alive. And those views…

Classic cream tea at The Abbey Tearooms, Glastonbury.

I’m now in the Apple Podcasting Directory so you can listen to Get on and Shine on all your favourite podcasting platforms. Woo!

22: I talk about how important it is to say what’s on your mind rather than repressing it, how I love depth in a conversation, and what’s going on for me in the months ahead.

I know. It’s raining.

Warm spot.

I never met my grandfather. I’m in awe of his coolness. My dad’s the little one on the right. What a cherub. Sunday best I think. Circa 1937. Aww 😃

And these cute lil critters.

Lifted by the sea.

Yes Rosie. I’ll save you some (she didn’t even eat it in the end. It’s just the mere idea of it right? 😃).

Still there.

Yay for sweet fluffy cattos!

Spot of sunshine? Don’t mind if I do.

Taken from Cadbury Castle, Somerset. By Simon.

20: I talk about my adventures from the last week, the loveliness of friendship and what it’s like in my new housesit.

Cover song - Lonesome Pole Cat - Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.

Daily scritch scrotch.

Catto has a serious addiction to Dreamies but she’s only allowed 4 a day. Awwww! Sorry Pickles. They is not good for your tumtums. She’s not impressed.